7 Signs That Show You Are The Side Chick in a Relationship

By Bolatito Adebayo

Few days ago, I read some heat break stories on a blog, and I realised that many of these stories had a common factor. The interesting thing is that immediately these ladies were ghosted by their Ex, or they were served “breakfast”, these guys either got married immediately or took their existing relationship to another level.

Obviously, these men were in another relationship with other ladies. This means that those who were heartbroken were majorly the side chicks.

They were never the main chicks from inception. The truth is that there are pointers to relationships that won’t end well. These signs are easily recognizable but unfortunately, we tend to ignore them because we are blinded by love.

However, if you don’t want to become a victim, here are signs to show that you are a side chick in a relationship and you should stop investing your time, money, emotions and every other thing in a relationship that will break your heart eventually.

1) If he refuses to define what you have

There are guys who love to eat their cake and have it at the same time, yet they have all the benefits of a relationship. They are neither your friends nor lovers. 

I understand they call these a “situationship”. They understand you are emotionally invested in them, but they know within themselves that the relationship isn’t going anywhere and they keep encouraging you. If a guy refuses to define or label what you both have then he is a time waster, leave him.

2) If he keeps ghosting you during holidays or special days

This is a big red flag. A guy who loves you with all his heart will not disappear on Valentine’s Day or Christmas day. If you can’t reach him on his phone on his birthday or on a public holiday, he might be married or engaged. 

This translates to the fact that he is spending time with the main chick while he leaves you snuggle with the empty air. 

Also, if you only meet him during the week and he is rarely available on weekends then you need to watch your back.

3) He never takes you to his house

If you are in a relationship with someone and he never takes you to his house, then he is probably married or he has a live-in lover. If he is the one who always comes to your place to visit, darling, there is trouble in paradise. Why is he hiding his house? Well, except he is homeless, because even if he is squatting with a friend, if he really loves you, he should take you there.

4) He avoids every display of PDA

Yea, I know some African men do not like PDA, but I tell you that if your boyfriend doesn’t want you to hold his hands in public places then run! If he is uncomfortable with you when you are outside or he is always looking for a secluded place to stay with you when you are together, that is a red flag. Be sensitive when you are both walking and he keeps a distance from you, my dear; you are his side chick.

5) He doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends or family

If you have been dating a guy for 6 months or beyond and he is yet to introduce you to his friends or family members, then you are dating yourself. That guy that makes your heartbeat doesn’t care after all; he is only after the free sex. 

6) He is overprotective about his phone

He hardly leaves his phone on the table. He hides while texting and when he picks calls, he whispers or answers in monotone. He has all his phones on password. His WhatsApp has a different password from his text messages. It is only a guy who cheats who becomes paranoid with his phones. Also, check what he saved your number with on his phone, you will be shocked it is an alias and not even an endearing name.

7) He is secretive

A guy who loves you will share his dreams and goals with you. He will always be excited to tell you about his wins and more. However, if you are a side chick, then you might not get to know all these things because you are not the one he intends to share his future with.

What does your instinct tell you?

Listen, if your intuition is telling you that your partner is unfaithful then you should re-evaluate your relationship. Remember, your intuition never lies, and you are not being paranoid. Ask him the hard questions when you notice any of these signs and if you are not satisfied with his answers, please take a walk and protect your heart from impending “breakfast”.