By Bolatito Adebayo
Are you still fond of your Ex? Do you miss him? Are you conflicted because you have been terribly hurt by this person, but you are still drawn to him.
Well, if you are in this situation, it is a normal phase in any relationship, because you don’t just yank memories you made with someone off, once you are no longer together.
Love doesn’t fade away overnight and it is okay to grieve. One of the reason’s you still find it hard to forget your Ex is because you are focused on his good qualities only, but you ignore the negative characteristics that made you leave.
Another reason is that, what you are holding unto isn’t love but the fantasy of what you have built in your head over time.
A person who dumps you for another is not worth loving, he has made it crystal clear. The thing about a lot of women in relationship is that they never prioritize themselves, but men are better at doing that.
I understand that you feel like your world is over but going back into the arms of that person who hurt you badly again isn’t good enough. If it happens again, which is most likely you will be devastated.
Don’t let those strong feelings control you. It is fickle and won’t last forever. Instead, be thankful for that breakup, feeling the pain is what will help you get to the other side.
I am not trying to rule out second chances but if you have an EX, whose red flags overwhelms his positive sides there is no point going back.
Here are ways you can get over your Ex.
Find a distraction: You don’t have to sink deep in the misery of your breakup, instead get busy or look for exciting things like travelling and fine dining etc.
Remove every trigger: Trash every reminder of once upon a love. Block him on all social media platforms, stay away from mutual friends that reminds you about him, shred pictures you have taken together, avoid music you both enjoyed together until you heal.
Focus on self-care: Pamper yourself. Enjoy your own company and just live. It is easier to move on when you love yourself, than wallowing in self-pity.
Talk it out with friends, letting it all out and sharing your heart issues with trusted friends will help you release bottled emotions. It is therapeutic and gives you clarity too.
Lastly, do not jump into another relationship. The worst decision when you are still grieving a lost love is to bring another person into your emotional mess. Work through your emotions before trying to date again.