By Bolatito Adebayo
“Relocating hasn’t been easy on me, since I left Naija with the kids. Not having my husband come home every night is taking its toll on me and our relationship. Making phone calls every day or Face Timing isn’t the same as being with him. It’s been a year now and I miss his touch, kisses and even sex. I don’t know how long I can survive this.” Tobi Bakare lamented.
Since the “j’apa’’ bug caught a lot of Nigerians, the family unit has not been the same again. In a bid for greener pastures and dual citizenship, a lot of families now live apart.
For men who have good jobs in Nigeria, they prefer to send their wives and kids to stay abroad. While for some, it is the other way round and the rest which are the lucky ones have their family and kids all together abroad.
Many love birds didn’t envisage they will end up this way but when you are in a long-distance relationship, you are definitely missing out from emotional and physical connection, like cuddling, kissing, holding hands and having sex.
Craving intimacy and getting things heated up in the bedroom might be quite difficult, so here are ways you can keep your sexual spark alive in a long-distance relationship.
Before you set out on the journey of long-distance marriage, sit your spouse down and have an honest conversation. Define and let your spouse understand what emotional and sexual infidelity is. Never assume. Both of you might have different views on this. You both should agree on what constitutes betrayal to curb your partner from feeling insecure.
Open the communication channel and be honest too. Discuss how you both want to achieve intimacy. Don’t be shy please, if you don’t speak up your partner might not know what and how you want it. Don’t be afraid to try new things that both of you are comfortable with.
Flirting through texting is highly recommended too, especially when you are just starting out and you can gradually build up into more adventures as long as you are both comfortable with it. Sexting is a great way to achieve intimacy when you are in a long distance relationship.
Exchange saucy photos but be careful with these so it won’t get you into trouble in future. Please always double check that you are sending those photos to the right person. I have seen a situation where someone sent such raunchy pictures to her church group. Always check the recipient again and again.
Schedule a time you and your partner will be connecting especially because of time difference. Having a schedule is also necessary so that you can carry on with your normal activities like socialising and your job.
Try out sex toys if you are comfortable with them and you can also exchange love notes and mails to spice up things.
Lastly, the most important thing for you two is to do what works for you and focusing on romance helps a lot in a long-distance marriage and helps keep the fire of love burning.
