By Kesandu Egburonu
Love, they say, is a beautiful thing. That rumble in your belly; that fire in your heart and; that sparkle in your eye when you are with the one you love is quite unmatched. There can never be anything like it. In that moment, it’s like time flies. The world becomes irrelevant and the only two things that matter in that moment or time are you and your lover.
I remember when I was quite young, I really loved the ladies. The only problem with that was how shy I was. I could barely look them in the eye when professing my love. Don’t get me wrong, I was bold in my early years, albeit, not in the area of women affairs. Back then, it was an easier prospect squaring off against a full grown Lion than looking that pretty angel in the eye while asking her out. Who born monkey well? I dared not! It was my Mission Impossible, my rocket science!
The first time I asked a girl out, I think I was 9 or 10 years of age. I spent all the time looking at my toes as I spoke before her. When I was done, I scurried off like a scared little puppy without getting any feedback. The funny thing was that I had kindhearted souls: The type that will bail me out of my misery and start dating me through actions rather than words. Glory be to God for that!
Looking back at those times; I know a lot has changed: I certainly don’t shy away like before. I developed a philosophy of “simple yes or no.” For me, the worst she could do was say “No” and I move on. So, what’s the big deal? The thing, though, is that, looking back in time, my confidence is not the only thing that changed over the years, love as a whole and its requirements have hugely evolved. If I didn’t know better, I’d have sworn I was in a coma and woke up with amnesia because, looking around, love, women and requirements have completely changed.
In the past, there was far less emphasis on your financial status, spending power and possessions. Women used to be content being with a man that made them happy and appreciated them. The only need for money then was the occasional gifts here and there, the compulsory outings on landmark celebrations and the ability to satisfy your needs, not wants.
Today, it’s a whole new world. You say “Hi” to a lady and the scrutiny on your person begins. She takes a good look at you from toe to head, starting with the footwear you have on, to the clothes and then your physical appearance. When the physical auditing is over, she’ll proceed to look around to see if there’s a car in sight that belongs to you. For emphasis, she’ll check your hands for any trace of car keys. Oh boy! All this surprising happens swiftly before she even contemplates whether to give you a response or not. Whew! We haven’t even started and I’m already in the hot seat. Now you see why I wondered if I had amnesia or not?
I once did a personal research of mine. Within a time frame, I went about wooing ladies, first, without the luxury of a car or an awesome physical appearance, and then, with the added incentive of both. Believe me, the results were completely different. Let us say, on a scale of 1-10, my ability to get a woman without those incentives fell to a 4-5 mark, while my ability to attract females with both incentives soared to a whopping 8-9 mark. I was amazed, annoyed, disturbed and concerned all at the same time about the results of my research. Times had indeed changed and I needed to change with it or be left behind.
For further emphasis, one particular lady does come to mind. This lady was my exact spec: Thick as a well pounded yam, curvy like a proper African woman should be and beautiful to cap it all up. “I am not going to miss this one,” I muttered to myself as I raced after her as she walked down my street. Ladies and gentlemen, it is with profound sadness and a grieving heart that I announce to you that, after all my carefully spoken romantic words to her, complete with an impeccable opening line that is top notch, this lady gave me the turn-down of the century. The worst is, she didn’t even say a word back. She just moved on like I was a ghost. I felt so bad that day.
Guess what? A week later, I was trying to park the car into my compound when I saw this same lady, but this time, with a friend. I rolled down the window as she passed by the car and pressed on the car horn to alert her of my presence. She stopped before me. “Hello,” was my greeting and surprisingly she replied a loud “hi” back! Wow! So, I wasn’t a ghost after all?! Interesting. The ease with which we talked and exchanged phone numbers shocked even my guardian angel! Again, I could swear I was having amnesia. To cut the long story short, we met up two days later and had hot sex in my house! Isn’t the Lord wonderful?
These personal encounters, as well as the testimonies of several other guys, have led me to realise that the definition of love in a relationship and life as a whole has greatly changed. To a large extent, I agree with that Nigerian singer who screamed in one of his songs, “if you no get money hide your face.” It simply translates to, “hide yourself if you do not have money,” in English. No more are women concerned with an honest hardworking guy who puts them first. Hell! You could even put them last for all they care, so long as you have the cash and are evidently doing well for yourself. How disturbing.
Of course, this does not mean every woman acts in this manner or has this mindset, but, if I am to go by my own research and word on the street, this practice of money-consciousness has become a common norm among women of today. The requirement of love has greatly evolved and has been simplified or made complex by money, depending on which side of the financial ladder you stand.
There is actually much more to discuss about this complex issue than fits just one article. All the more reason I choose to conclude this delicate issue in the second part of this article. I very much hope you tag along with me as I do this and bring to a close an issue that definitely concerns us all.
Till then, never doubt that love is still a beautiful thing.
