By Bolatito Adebayo
Nancy knew what she did was an error; she knew she had betrayed her husband and wished she could turn back the hands of time. Nancy wished she put a stop to the chain of events that drove her into the arms of another man. She had always been faithful to her husband of fifteen years but everything happened in quick succession when she met Bob online. She hated herself and wished she could take what happened back.
It wasn’t entirely her fault, she was bored. Her life was the same old cycle for fifteen years. She had three children and a husband who was more like a roommate. There was no spark in the relationship and the romance died right after the children started coming.
Nancy met Bob online, and he made her feel like a teenager again. They started meeting for lunch and then the intensity of the feeling between them took them by surprise. Before Nancy knew it, the relationship had become sexual.
Nancy finally confessed to her husband amidst tears and regrets. But she was shocked at the explosion of his anger. He screamed, threw things around the house and wept like a child. He pushed Nancy out and told her he didn’t want to see her again for the rest of his life. Nancy’s husband couldn’t forgive her despite fact that she had forgiven him twice when she caught him cheating.
98.9% of Nigerian men will never forgive their wives if they were caught cheating because cheating has been seen as a traditionally masculine trait. It doesn’t even matter if she made the confession herself or if she was remorseful. As long as she cheated, then she should be banished and thrown into hell. Our people are of the opinion that a cheating woman should be humiliated by everyone. It is a non-written society code and that’s why everyone is quick to judge a cheating woman.
Honestly, I don’t care how a man reacts to his cheating wife; a man who has to deal with a cheating wife has his emotions surging at that instance. So, whatever decisions he makes at that point I will respect it, as long as he is not inflicting bodily harm or killing anyone.
However, what if the table turns and it was the man who was caught cheating? What would Nancy do? Would she push him out? Of course, she won’t. She would cry for days and probably not speak to him for weeks. Then he would plead with her, send his friends to plead on his behalf and when she refuses, he will call in family members to come begging. In case all that failed, he will go bring her pastor who will tell Nancy how she is expected to forgive seventy times seven times as a Christian. To cut the long story short, Nancy would take her husband back. Even if his mistress is pregnant with a set of twins, she has no choice but to take him back because there are very few husbands’ in Nigeria.
So, as an advocate of women, dear men, if your wife cheats on you please forgive her. Remember the Bible says we should forgive over and over again. She made a mistake and deserves a second chance just like we have been tolerating your philandering. Forgive and forget. Pretend like nothing ever happened and live your life happily ever after.
Moreover, if a woman can forgive her straying husbands countless times, a man should also be able to do the same. A wife is equipped with superpowers, just like you are.
”S’ebi what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.”
You men can also ”forgive and forget.”
Ehn Ehn Now!