By Bolatito Adebayo
Yesterday Foluke Daramola Salako, a Nollywood actress came out on Instagram saying that she is the only legal wife of her husband Kayode Salako, a politician.
The popular actress also added that although, she is married to a polygamist, she is the only legal wife. She however, asked a rhetorical question; “Can a man be snatched?” this question was meant to shut down an allegation that she snatched Kayode Salako from his first wife.
Well, I am not here to talk about the “snatched” and snatched.
Instead, I am here to ask some lingering questions since I listened to her two days ago.
Isn’t polygamy and being married legally contradictory?
If Foluke Darammola was married legally, isn’t it bigamy if her husband is married to other women?
Moreover, I learned from a Facebook live session named ” Yeye Kudi Court Room” that Mr. Kayode Salako’s first wife’s sisters claimed that Foluke Daramola lied.
According to reports, the ex’s sisters claimed that their elder sister was legally married to Mr. Kayode and that they were never divorced.
Well, if you are a Nigerian, you wouldn’t be surprised by that. There are a lot of irregularities and porosities in our system. So, bigamy is possible!
Unfortunately, there are laws in Nigeria against bigamy but when broken, there are no consequences.
Although, I can’t tell who is telling lies here or who is not, but, I have more questions to ask;
If Mr. Kayode’s first wife is still married legally to his wife, are other wives married to him traditionally?
Between a traditional marriage and a court marriage which one makes you legal or illegal?
Moreover, this same Mr. Salako has been alleged to have two more wives. A young lady celebrated their first anniversary of being together recently on Facebook.
So what exactly are the advantages of being a legal wife in a polygamous setting?
If “you are not the one and only”, why are you setting ring lights and coming online to tell the world that you are the legal wife?
If your husband keeps getting younger women are you truly happy?
What is the legality of polygamous marriage?
Is there a trophy to be won?
If you have answers to these questions, kindly shed more light because I am curious.
I’m asking these hard questions because women tend to forget their self-worth and I am using Foluke Dramola’s incident as a reminder to every woman who is dealing with abusive, cheating, or manipulative partners. I am not saying Foluke Daramola is in one because I don’t know the dynamics of her marriage.
However, if you have been disrespected over and over again in a marriage or relationship, this is a wake-up call.
Tell yourself repeatedly that you are the prize!!
Let that skin in!
Stop negotiating and resolving for less than you truly want.
If you don’t see yourself as the prize no one will think greatly of you and men will continue to treat you like a doormat.
It has nothing to do with your age, beauty, or career. It is a mindset!
Change your orientation and values. Also make sure you work on your self-esteem.
If you are being taken for granted, you are in an abusive relationship or married to a cheating husband, you don’t have to stay if you are not happy or claiming bullshit while he is unrepentant.
Stop being desperate!!
While you are wondering why you are going through this bad patch, remind yourself;
You are the prize!!
Find a happy peaceful place within you and love yourself.
You should exist in a place where you are celebrated than where you are tolerated !!
Stop managing that hell you call a relationship or marriage.
If you are not happy, you have tried your best and it is not working, take a walk. Guard your mental health!!