By Bolatito Adebayo
Older men are sexy, matured, and attractive and like old wine, they get better as they age. But on the flip side, the older women, are slutty, foolish, wrinkled and irresponsible.
Why are we trying hard to push older woman out of the dating pool? It’s obvious the custodians of African cultures and traditions never get tired even when women are growing grey hairs, the rules still continue.
It is a natural standard for Sugar Zaddies to fall hopelessly in love with any woman with a fertile ovarian reserve. However, it is a no-no for sugar mummies to fall in love with any young virile men.
It is impossible for that kind of love to exist! If that happens, ”that guy must have been charmed by her. The old witch must be using his destiny.”
Nevertheless, when a powerful man marries a young lady, then we turn around to say that “age is nothing but a number”.
A 60year old man can marry a 21-year-old girl, ”she is an adult after all!” But when a 60year old woman finds love in the arms of 40year old man we will start screaming ourselves hoarse.
Interestingly, even when such relationship is condemned, the men in both equations are never shamed or ridiculed. It is usually the women who are called gold diggers, prostitutes or old cargoes. The men who are involved with these two categories of women are usually exonerated.
Phew! Women are always the target! Women are being deprived their sexual authority while men are encouraged to abuse theirs. That is why a 60-year-old man like Aminu Danmalik can confidently come out publicly without fear or foe that he is married to a 21-year-old. That is why we celebrate the marriage of Sade Okoya and her husband. Can a 60-year-old woman confidently do that here in Africa? Maybe in the western world but not here, the few ones who have tried know what they went through.
Everywhere in the world, older women are fighting for a place in the dating pool. While the beautiful pictures of Ned Nwoko and wife are splashed on the covers of magazines and newspapers.
By their names you can easily tell who is being shamed and who is praised, why do we call older men sugar Zaddies and older women cougars? I think calling an older woman a cougar is a way of saying she is a predator, the one who is interested in hunting down a prey.
While the sugar daddy isn’t even derogatory at all, it is only a reaffirmation of an older man playing a father by taking care of her bills or he just loves spoiling a younger woman who is like a child to him.
Ageing for women shouldn’t be an humiliating process or a sexual disqualification. If the society can be permissive about ageing men, they should do the same thing too for ageing women. We all have blood flowing in our veins!
