By Bolatito Adebayo
“An eye for an eye”, so says the holy books but does this Mosaic Law apply to a spouse when she is being cheated on?
If your husband cheats on you, are you allowed to cheat back? Gone are the days when men cheat on women, and they are drenched in tears and filled with regrets or wallowing in self-pity.
These days, when a husband is caught in the act some women turn their tears to rage, pick themselves up, dress up in the sexiest way and hit the street to get back their pound of flesh.
According to research, revenge cheating is prevalent among women because we live in a patriarchal world.
So is revenge cheating a good thing?
Does it solve the problem of being betrayed?
Is it bad?
Well, maybe.
Revenge affairs are mostly common among married couples.
Notwithstanding, why do people who have vowed to be committed to each other decide to take this path when they are hurt and feel deflated?
Many people do it because they are feeling angry and they are tired of playing the fool in the marriage or relationship.
We all know society accepts men cheating but frowns at women doing the same.
Nevertheless, some women are flipping the scripts and rebelling against the prejudiced societal standards.
They are of the opinion that what is good for the geese is good for the gander.
Men no longer have a monopoly of cheating.
Women who are into revenge affairs want the men to also swallow the pill they have been dishing out.
Nonetheless, do these women tell their husbands to their faces they have also defiled the bed?
If yes, will the marriage still be intact?
Women these days are unlike our mothers and grandmothers, they are fearless. It is no longer business as usual. Some are damning all consequences. Women who are into revenge cheating no longer keep it as a secret. They cheat with their full chest!
According to these women, the primary reason for indulging in the adulterous affair is to see their spouse suffer.
So, if he doesn’t know about it they haven’t succeeded in inflicting the pain on him.
For the not so brave ones, they prefer to share their cheating escapades with their friends, relishing their conquest and jeering at their husband behind their backs.
Why not break up or seek therapy instead of doing this?
Honestly, like I said earlier, I am not here to judge anyone’s decisions because some of these women claim there are benefits of having these amorous affairs.
Mayowa not real name, took us through the advantages. According to her, revenge affairs helped boost her self-esteem and self-worth. She further elaborated that having a revenge affair made her realise she is beautiful once again. In the long run, that saved her marriage.
But is it possible for everyone to be as lucky as Mayowa? I doubt that because two wrongs don’t make a right.
Unforgiveness in a marriage or relationship should be a no-no.
Revenge cheating has more disadvantages. It doesn’t matter if you cheat on your spouse. It doesn’t make the hurt go away and it doesn’t make things right.
Revenge affair doesn’t take the hurt, shame, embarrassment and pain away. An affair with a stranger or an ex can’t make you feel better. Half of the people I know regretted it because it made them feel worse. Seek counselling instead.
Generally speaking, cheating is a distraction and a cheap thrill that shouldn’t be encouraged in a relationship or marriage.
Revenge cheating will most likely end a beautiful love story in a breakup or break down.
